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Spirituality is…Ready To Sail

Cast your fate upon the water
Catch a big wave by the tail
And when a good wind comes your way
Be ready to sail.
“Be Ready To Sail” by Claire Lynch

It’s been an interesting week as we watched to see what would happen with the prediction the world was going to come to an end on May 21.  I don’t think very many people actually believed the world would come to an end, but it did make a lot of people stop and think, “am I ready for the world to come to an end?”   We all know life on earth is fragile and beautiful and it can change course or end at any moment.  However, things like the rapture prediction make us stop and take stock about what we have done, what we have left undone, and what we have yet to do.

The thing that concerned me most about this apocalyptic prediction – and in fact most evangelism based on eschatology – is that it tends to use fear to fuel its path instead of faith. The message is usually “You better be afraid because if you aren’t found worthy, you will be left behind in torment.”  The messengers hope by giving you a sense of fear, you will choose to change your life.  A much better message would be one of faith. “Something amazing is going to happen someday, and I think you would like to be a part of it, and until then – you can be a part of the amazing that is happening now – because the “now” is amazing.” sounds like a better message to me.

Spirituality responds to the message in its positive stream. Spirituality isn’t asking you “Are you willing to burn?” but rather – “Are you ready to sail?”

Don’t get the idea, though, that spirituality is simply about floating along life’s waves bouncing up and down like an untethered fishing bobber. There are several things that have to be done in order to sail.

You can’t just  buy a boat, jump in it and hit the water.  You have to have a boating license and take some safety classes. There are a lot of things to know – everything from how to tie/trim a sail to who has the right of way in the water, to passing etiquette.  Failure to learn before attempting to sail can be dangerous, frustrating or at the very least, funny (in a “laughing at you, not with you” kind of way).

Maybe he shouldn’t have skipped the first 30 minutes of class…

Spiritually, we need to learn too. We don’t need a license to be spiritual – but the more we read, know and understand about ourselves, our world and our God – the more smooth the sailing will be.  We don’t have to “learn it all ” (that’s not even possible!) but we should always remember that spirituality, like sailing, is a learning journey.

Coracles or Catamarans

A coracle is a rudderless, keel-less one-person boat made of wicker covered by animal skin used for ages in Ireland and Scotland. It doesn’t have much directional ability (although some direction can be achieved by paddling, not very much overcomes the force of the current).  Legend has it that Saint Columba, who founded the monestary at Iona, set sail in a coracle and let the waves take him until he ended up in Iona. The journey and the boat are often used as an allegory for sailing on faith.

A catamaran has rudders, keels, and two hulls (instead of a regular mono-hull boat). Catamarans are used for ferries, vacation boats, racing, and transport.  Having 2 hulls makes them more stable, and controllable than regular boats.

Spirituality is able to embody both types of sailing.  Sometimes you do need to “set out” and “see where God takes you.”  It may be a new job in an arena you’ve never worked before, or a mission trip where you can’t begin to predict the outcome. There is something faithful and fulfilling about setting out in faith, using the skills you do have, and discovering where you wind up.  An adventurous spirituality is a gift and greatly to be valued.

Other times, you need to rest in the stability of a boat that has a solid foundation, and good bearings. You need a map to show you where you are going and you want to be able to steer your journey as much as possible. When you are ill, you ask for information about the treatment, side-effects and successful outcomes. Being ill makes you vulnerable enough, you need as much guidance and surety as you can find to navigate those waters.  It’s not a lack of faith to need to know where you are going, or what a loved one is going to experience. It’s simply a time for a spiritual catamaran to pull you safely through.

Coracle or Catamaran?  A healthy full life will have times for both. So learn as much as you can about the seas of world you will be sailing – the ocean of family, the lake of work, the river of life — and make sure you are picking the best boat for the time at hand.  Then you won’t have to be so worried about whether the rapture may come, or illness may strike, or a new person may enter your life – because no matter how rough or calm, dark or clear, choppy or still the water is – you’ll do fine on your journey – because you are ready to sail.

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Spirituality is…A Blind Date

“Most of us don’t know where to start with God.  We’ve got a lot of excess baggage and “God as Told To Us By” and it can feel an awful lot like a blind date.  The trick with God, just like blind dates, is to suit up and show up. Who knows?  God might turn out to be someone you really like. Somebody you can actually talk to and go salsa dancing with. Somebody who gets your jokes.  The point is that until you try to meet God, you aren’t going to know.”                                                                                     Some Say God is No Laughing Matter by Julia Cameron

This morning I had a chance to have breakfast with some folks from my church I admire very much. We share a common faith in Christ, a love for all kinds of music, and a fondness for dry, cranky humor. However, in some ways, we are very different. They were raised steady and solid, lived in the same area most or all of their lives, and have an internal sense of who God is that would leads me to believe they have known God since childhood. They are raising their daughter in the church with the same solid sense of God’s presence they reflect in their service and dedication.

I, on the other hand, came from a chaotic mixture of people and places where I learned to accept and appreciate different kinds of folks, but I wasn’t taught anything about God.  I didn’t’ meet God until I graduated from high school, and when I did it was definitely a blind date. Fortunately,  that date led to a series of experiences culminating in a life given, a life received and a journey shared.  I wondered today, not for the first time, if my faith, my hope, my joyous relationship with beloved God – would be different had God and I started out sooner or if I began on more solid ground. When I asked God the question, I got a question in return. The conversation went like this:

Me:  God, wouldn’t it have been better if I had known you from the start?
God:  What?  And give up our blind date?

There’s something courageous, and entrancing, about sitting at the table waiting for God to walk through the door.  Even people who are raised in faith can usually point to a time when they transitioned from the God they were taught about in Sunday School to the God who invited them to dinner years later – the God who laughed with their joy during the appetizer or cried with them over their pain while the entree was being served, the God who encouraged them to order dessert, the God who paid the bill.  Ultimately for anyone to to get to know God, they must commit themselves to experience a blind date, and then take the next step – the trust to open our eyes and see.

“But everything is going so well…”

 The God who made us knows us, and longs to be with us — so you wouldn’t think it would be so hard to open up and reveal our honest thoughts and questions. And yet, particularly for those raised with a God more interested in punishing sinners than embracing souls, it can be the challenge of a lifetime.  If we have set ourselves on a course to have a blind date with God – we clearly desire to be with God — so you wouldn’t think it would be so hard for God to talk to us.  And yet, particularly for people who are too busy or too frightened to hear anything other than what they already believe, God is challenged to get through our defenses or distractions with a great message of grace and gifts.

Social science tells us we get what we expect.  So if we go on a date with God, we will pretty much expect what we were told by others who have shared the table.  Some people expect a God who shows up late, annoyed and instantly blames you for giving bad directions or choosing the wrong table. Some people expect a God who shows up with flowers and candy but spends the whole night wanting to hear you talk about how fantastic God happens to be. Some people bring a list, hoping God will open up a wallet and leave a huge tip without asking too many questions or insisting on a steady relationship. And, sadly, some people wait at the table as the candlelight grows dim, not really expecting God to show up at all.

Spirituality begins as a truly blind date and expects the God who is unexpected.  The God who breaks into a song at the table, or the God who moves the plates and puts down a map to show you some exotic place or unforeseen calling is the God who will show up if we allow it. I think one of the reasons Jesus acts so unpredictably throughout the gospels is to help his disciples understand the daily trust walk of following Christ meant you didn’t always know what was going to happen, but you knew God was changing something, someone or some path.

Of course, all lasting relationships must eventually pass through the dating stage and become steady, hopeful, and directional. Yet, anyone who has been in a long term love will tell you that couples who are the strongest still manage to date quite frequently, and enjoy unexpected adventures along with daily bread.  But in order to get to that journey of an honest everyday life with God – no matter if you’ve known about God forever or for a day – you must be willing to “suit up and show up” for the date.

Would I give up my blind date with God? Never!
Would you?

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Spirituality is…Stolen

“Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.”
Pablo Picasso

The history of the word “steal” reveals it is an ancient word – entering language before 900, from the Norse word “Stelan”  meaning to “carry off”.  Since that time it has come to mean “taking something that doesn’t belong to you without expressed permission or compensation.”  Have you ever known a more common practice in daily life?  As Picasso noted about the great artists, stealing is something we do almost every day.

We “carry off” or take from all the things around us. We take advice we hear on TV, or at the ice cream shop over a scoop of chocolate with sprinkles, and we use it to make our lives better. We take energy from the warmth of the sun and use it to give us strength to break ground and plant a garden. We take joy from the sheer happiness watching children or grandchildren at play can bring us, and we take pride in the accomplishments of people we love.  Let’s face it – we take, and take, and take.  Nowhere is that more true – or wonderful – than in the realm of spirituality.

Spirituality is an openness to the ideas, wisdom and experiences we are exposed to and the ability to discern which of those things can enhance our faith and our life. Things we learn and “steal” to add into our understanding come from many sources. One of the great places for us to steal a lot of faith is stories.

The world is full of amazing stories. In fact, when you think about it – the Bible is a collection of stories (scholars prefer to use the term “narrative” because it sounds more churchy and doesn’t upset as many people) – stories of strong women, faithful men, donkeys that talk, and rain that won’t stop coming down for 40 days.  When we are in one of those times in our life when it seems like the rain of disappointments, frustrations and garbage never ends – a story about an ark full of hope and a bird that returns with an olive branch can give us lots of comfort.

But we shouldn’t seek spiritual stories solely from the bible or those self-help books you find at the Christian bookstore – in fact, only reading from those sources can limit and narrow our vision – which is the opposite of spirituality. Stories from interesting lives can inspire us. Stories of amazing courage can uplift us. Stories of sports triumphs can give us the power to develop our God given skills and stories that make us laugh can heal us.  Watch movies, read novels, and listen to the world around you.

Don’t be afraid to learn from fiction.  After all, Picasso also tells us – “Art is a lie that makes us realize truth.”

There’s a story I love, in the form of a graphic novel (later made into a movie), in which a woman who has been questioning the world around her was tortured for a period of time as a cruel method of removing fear from her life. She emerges from her torture cell dirty, hurt, and more confused than ever . Needing fresh air, she runs to the rooftop to discover its raining. Unafraid, she steps into the rain, reaches to the heavens and lets the water cleanse her body and soul. She says aloud, “God is in the rain.”  When something has me spiritually lost or overwhelmed – I remember the freedom of standing in the rain letting it all wash over me and I regain my peace.

“God is in the rain.”

 Does it matter whether I get through the rain in my life with the lesson of Noah’s ark or the inspiration provided by writer Alan Moore in his novel “V for Vendetta?” No. What matters is that I get through the rain in my life, and God has sent me many stories to guide me through it.

Spirituality breaks open the locked door of “I only know what I am supposed to know” and steals from history, tradition, nature, story, art, and life experience. It allows us not simply to plod down the well scripted path of rules and endurance but to dance in the rain, to find a mission in an uncharted territory, and live a life of adventurous faith. 

So the next time a great inspiration, thought or understanding comes your way:  encounter it, pray about it, discern if God has a place in your life, and if need be – steal it for your very own.

Photo:  from V for Vendetta (c) 2006, Warner Bros Studios.

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Spirituality is…Personally Responsible

“There’s a blue moon shinin’
When I am reminded of all we’ve been through
Such a blue moon… shinin’
Does it ever shine down on you?”
       “Once in a Very Blue Moon” by Nanci Griffith

 About a year ago I got a speeding ticket on our little backwoods road. I live in a small county out in the country and the police are very friendly. I had an interesting conversation:

Officer:  Ma’am I clocked you at 49 and the speed limit here is 35.
Me:  I am so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention, and I was speeding.
Officer:  I won’t write down that you said that. You don’t have to admit that.
Me: But, I WAS speeding. 
[after the ticket was written]
Officer: Ma’am – sign this line. BUT, you should know signing this line does not mean you are guilty or admitting anything. You are just signing that you received this ticket.
Me: Is there a line to sign that says I am guilty?
Officer: (confused) Um…no. Just sign here.  Now, if you want to challenge this in court and get it dismissed you can call this number and schedule a date. Now, I know people think if you go to court and the officer doesn’t show it will get dismissed but this is a small county circuit court and we all go. Still, you can try it if you want or if you want to challenge this in any way. You might be able to get it dismissed.
Me: I don’t want to challenge it. How do I just pay the fine?
Officer: And, if you take this driver’s training course, you can get this taken care of and it won’t be held against you. It will be like this didn’t happen. There’s a fee for that – but it will erase the incident.
Me:  I don’t want court and I don’t want a class. I just want to admit I did this and pay the fine. Is there a way to just pay for my mistake?
Officer: (disappointed)…Yes, um…you can do that online.

I’m sure he drove away thinking I was an idiot, and I left amazed by all the ways we have developed to get out of our responsibilities. I didn’t have to admit it, I could challenge it and maybe get by with it, or I could just wipe it away. Too often the finer choices – pay for it, learn from it, and own it are at the bottom of our list.

We don’t just do this with traffic tickets and library fines. We do it a lot.  The world is full of reasons and people to blame.

  • Well, if I had known someone was going to check that report, I would have turned it in on time. Why didn’t anyone tell me the boss was going to read them?
  • How was I supposed to keep track of the dentist appointment I made? They should have called me to remind me. They shouldn’t charge me for the missed time; it was their fault.
  • The teacher isn’t very good. She’s failing my kid. She doesn’t remind him to take his homework home, and puts much more weight on the homework he doesn’t do than paying attention to the two assignments he did turn in. I want him out of her class and with someone who will make sure he passes.
  • My church believes this….or…My pastor says that……

That last one is particularly concerning to me.  I’m very likely to challenge someone who tells me what their church believes and say, “Is it what your church believes or is it what YOU believe?”  I am perfectly happy to let people believe as they choose — but I do want them to be able to own their beliefs.

Spirituality is a developed relationship with God secure enough for us to take responsibility for our thoughts, words and deeds understanding our relationship with God will continue with grace and second chances. The ability to be honest with yourself and with God empowers you to own your achievements and your mistakes; to learn from them and to change through them. Spirituality is the lens that shows you the refining fire isn’t just to punish you – but to purify and strengthen you.

In the book of First Samuel is one of my favorite “out of the way” Bible stories. It’s the story of an angry old man named Shimei.

 5 As King David approached Bahurim, a man from the same clan as Saul’s family came out from there. His name was Shimei son of Gera, and he cursed as he came out. 6 He pelted David and all the king’s officials with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David’s right and left. 7 As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! 8 The LORD has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The LORD has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”
 9 Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.”
 10 But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”
 11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to. 12 It may be that the LORD will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today.”
 13 So David and his men continued along the road while Shimei was going along the hillside opposite him, cursing as he went and throwing stones at him and showering him with dirt. 14 The king and all the people with him arrived at their destination exhausted. And there he refreshed himself.
I Samuel 16:5 – 16:14

The story of Shimei is not often preached about – perhaps a story saying it’s okay to curse leaders and throw dirt at them isn’t what most preachers want to encourage from the pulpit.

David, get off my lawn.

The story shows David is ready to take personal responsibility.  David knew Shimei had legitimate complaints. David was a bloody king, he did take Saul’s throne, and he had murdered unjustly. David’s own son was trying to kill him. David knew the only way to relate to God and the people of Israel about this disaster was to be honest. He’s tired of hiding. He’s done with excuses and spin doctors. “I sinned and the result was this bloody war that has split my family and this nation,” David is ready to say. Along comes Shimei who is willing to say it for him. Shimei tells David’s truth in his spew of curses and David is ready to hear it.  He even ponders if maybe God had instructed Shimei to set this into motion.

Notice David doesn’t want to forget the past and stop and argue with Shimei about who was at fault. He just wants to own what happened, acknowledge Shimei’s right to be upset, and keep moving forward.  My favorite part is verse 14 where it says “When they arrived at their destination – they were exhausted”. I bet! How much cursing and dirt would it take to turn your trip upside down?

Our lives are probably not the action-packed adventure that David’s was, but we all have things we need to take responsibility for doing. When we are ready to take ownership of our rights, and our wrongs, we are making the spirit’s journey to truth and peace with God (and it is sometimes exhausting!). But forgiveness and future are what await us as we move along.

Spirituality is not a journey of forgive, forget and pretend it never happened. It’s a journey of forgive, learn, and go forward.

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Spirituality is…A Builder

“The religious leaders say that God desires a world that is pure and empty of sin, like a desert. They talk like a man’s role isn’t ever to be a builder, but always only an insanely jealous protector.”
                 Aaron and Ahmed, by Jay Cantor

What’s the difference between a mob and a community?  They are both groups of people with like-minded thinking, a specific purpose, a call to action, and committed followers. They are both groups of people who will sacrifice for what they believe in. They are both groups of people who want to change the world around them.  So what makes one group a terrorist cell, and another group a church?

The difference comes from the purpose and the product of the group at hand:

A mob is usually created out of powerlessness.  Powerlessness makes people sad or afraid; sad or fearful people became angry protective people; angry, protective people grouped together become a mob. The currency of a mob is force, and the product it buys is oppression.

Communities are created out of empowerment.  People who believe they are called to a purpose or idea become happy or secure people, which makes them a committed, focused people. The currency of a community is togetherness, and the product it buys is change.

Communities seek justice;  Mobs want vengeance
Communities try to listen; Mobs tend to shout
Communities want to heal; Mobs want to punish.
Communities tend to build; Mobs are desperate to protect

In faith life we have seen some of both groups through our history.  The communities of Iona and Skye sought to build a place of contemplation and spirit. The mobs of crusaders sought to punish those they considered “infidel” and protect their lands from diversity of faith.  The community of Taize seeks to build a type of peace through through prayer, song and inclusion. The mob of many churches seeks to protect their traditions through politics, dogma and exclusivity.  Over and over we realize – having a cross on your building, your car or your necklace doesn’t show us whether you are part of a community or a mob. Only your actions can do that.

I don’t think they are here for a bake sale.

Spirituality is a builder. Spirituality is the part of us that takes risks and recognizes that the space between us as people doesn’t need a guard gate as much as a bridge. Spirituality values traditions but also seeks to reach out through them to new people in a new way.  Spirituality is the building, hopeful part of who we are as beings.

In Acts 28, the Apostle Paul has just gone through a time of trial and terror. Tossed by a storm, starved and shipwrecked he and the survivors wind up on the coast of Malta. What’s the first thing the people of Malta do? Run find some arrows or weapons?  Draw a line in the sand and prohibit the castaways from going further until they have a chance to question them? No – the first thing they do is build a fire because the survivors are wet and cold. Spirituality builds.

Spirituality doesn’t build unwisely. It takes effort to build something. You have to know the design and how to build, make sure you have the proper tools and proceed with care as well as hope. Spiritual people have all come in contact with someone whose goal is to knock down your construction or use your good nature for their own harmful purposes. Construction workers who reach in peace get burned many times. Yet, still, we build.

As you encounter new people, old people, new ideas, old prejudices or anything in between – remember to listen and pray and not just look for things that offend you or you might need to defend against – but look for the tools, materials and pathways to build something new, warm, or good.

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Spirituality is…Just a Vehicle

The warm water beads as it runs down the curves
Of the beautiful surface so tan
She’s polishing the Jaguar again

Hasn’t run in a year or two
Nice car but the wheels don’t move, anymore
Maybe she remembers
Maybe something’s got her scared
It’s too precious to be careless
And it’s finally been repaired

So you never see her drive it
She won’t risk it any more
It’s too easy to collide it
And it hurt so much before

Could it be
That it’s really just a vehicle
Standing like a statue all this time
Could it be
Its just a vehicle
She shines
“Just a Vehicle” by David Wilcox

One of the reasons we have trouble pinning down what spirituality is probably has to do with our tendency to use that word as a noun, which the dictionary affirms is rightfully done. However, when we transition our understanding not to the letter of the law but the spirit – the word suffers in its proper form.  You remember nouns – “person, place or thing.”  Starting with that perception and marinated in America’s consumerist, personality obsessed culture, spirituality can morph into something as useless as beautifully waxed sports car that sits in the window on display.

Where will I put the groceries?

 Spirituality is not a thing we can own like so many gadgets, machines or paintings.  We can’t buy and we certainly can’t sell it – even at the Christian Book Store.  Spirituality is not a person. We can find evidence of it in the behavior of people – Mother Theresa, Ghandi, The Dalai Lama, or Mrs. Wallace from our Sunday School class, – but no one human being is spirituality incarnate. We should never get so caught up in the star-culture (cult-ure?) that we get confused and lose our way.  Spirituality is not a place we arrive, but a method for getting somewhere.

While I hate to argue with the good people at Dictionary.com, spirituality in its purest and best form is a verb. It is an active, moving vehicle made to take us to our destination.  Every person has a different idea of where they want the car to go.  Some folks just want it to take them to a happy day, or drive them out of a valley of sorrow or a late night abandoned street called “Fear.”  Others want to travel to realms they have never seen before – beautiful places like “Peace” or busy intersections like the corner of “Need” and “Community”.  Still others want it to drive them all the way to Heaven, sometimes without leaving earth.

Our lives as spiritual people is often a search for the key that makes this car go and sadly most have a key in their own pocket, having picked it up long ago.  Just like there is more that one type of car – there is more than one key that can put the vehicle in gear. Some of the best keys are prayer, peace, reflection, giving, listening, opening. forgiveness and, of course, the master key that can start every car – love.  And once you start the car – you must drive it.

It’s a risk, you know. You could run out of gas if you start out on a long journey of faith without enough fuel and provisions. You could get lost and need to find somewhere to stop and get directions (and, you would be willing to have to ask for them!).  In a world so full of doctrines, traditions and interpretations – you might even crash your car into someone’s parked ideas.  Through the spiritual journey – some cars start out shiny and new, but end up looking like this:

Well, I don’t have to worry about those window dings anymore.

When that happens, the amazing love of God, and the spirituality found in the love of others will drive you where you need to go until the frame can be healed, the metal melted and re-formed and the tires changed. Then, as the repairs are complete, your task is to get behind the wheel anew- and keep going.

Spirituality isn’t something we have to be admired or gain status. Its a functioning vehicle of heart, mind and soul designed to take us, and sometimes passengers we pick up along the way, to all the places God would have us go.

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Spirituality is….Eschewing Obfuscation

Detective Spooner: So, Dr. Calvin, what exactly do you do around here?
Dr. Calvin: I specialize in hardware-to-wetware interfaces in an effort to advance U.S.R.’s robotic ahthropomorphization program.
Detective Spooner: So, what exactly do you do around here?
Dr. Calvin: I make the robots seem more human.
Detective Spooner: Now wasn’t that easier to say?
Dr. Calvin: Not really. No.
                                  Dialogue from the film “I-Robot”

One of my favorite T-shirts in a catalog for writers I receive says, “Eschew Obfuscation”.  Its a funny way of illustrating that saying something simply is better than puffing it up with big words that don’t matter, or hiding the truth behind a bunch of complex nonsense.  Or as my Mamaw would say, “Don’t take the long way ’round the barn.”

We got a very good look at obfuscation this week when Congressman Jon Kyl said 90% of what Planned Parenthood does are abortions. Confronted with the fact that was completely incorrect (its more like 3%) his office released the following statement, “His remark was not intended to be a factual statement,…”.  What?  I don’t know where he grew up – but where I grew up, “Not intending to give a factual statement” means – you’re telling a lie and you know it.

Why do people “obfuscate”?  Lots of reasons.  It limits confrontation because people are too confused to know how to argue, it is supposed to make the speaker appear more intelligent or the idea more complicated than it really is, or it just (supposedly) makes things seem more valuable. Whatever the reason, the basic cause is the same:  need.   People who make things harder than they have to be or hide behind complex language and murky ideas have some need – the need to be admired, the need for validation, the need for authority, the need to pass the blame.

Spirituality is the opposite of this practice.  Spirituality is not need based – it is abundance based. Spirituality is the part of us that recognizes that God meets our needs, and our relationships with others are to be based on security and love, not fear and manipulation.  Spiritual people don’t require larger words than necessary, or decide to place truth outside of the realm common people can understand. Jesus addresses this understanding in his famous teaching about prayer.

“When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
This is how you should pray:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.”
Matthew 6:6-13

When you look at verse 6 in the King James Version it reads, “Go into your closet and pray.” The first time I encountered that my immediate thought was, “Jesus has obviously never seen my closet!”
My closet is full of unplayed games, dirty gym socks that managed to evade the laundry basket, boxed Christmas decorations, photo albums and clothes so old I couldn’t fit into them with a crowbar. I don’t have time to clean my closet, let alone pray in it.

Maybe I should pray to be neater…

What Jesus is saying, of course, is that prayers aren’t for public approval or affirming self-righteousness – they are a time of communion between you and your creator and deserve respect, focus and honesty.  The sample prayer Jesus uses as a teaching tool has been studied and recited for centuries. However – in learning about it – some good old obfuscation has appeared.

When trying to give us better understanding of it most preachers and teachers use the acronym ACTS.

Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication

The problem with the ACTS model is the words. They are big fifty-cent words. Stained glass words. Words from an air-conditioned, padded-pew, everyone-in-a-dress church setting. But what about the everyday? What about the day you are standing by the side of the road waiting for a tow truck to haul your car back to the garage that was supposed to have fixed it correctly the first time? Is “Adoration” really the word you are thinking as the sun beats down on you? Probably not. While you are silently asking God to help the tow truck arrive before a psycho-killer notices your predicament, would you call that your supplication? It’s doubtful.
Maybe there are some better words:

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,”

KNOW - Know that the creator of the universe is holy, and loves you.

“your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

REMEMBER – Remember that God is in charge and has desires for what happens on earth that it should become more heavenly.

“Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

ACCEPT – Accept and Acknowledge what God gives to you.

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”

ASK - Ask for God’s help, guidance and assurance.

Know, Remember, Accept, Ask: Everyday words for an all-day-long God. This model probably won’t become very popular because it doesn’t spell anything catchy. That’s okay, because when you are standing on the freeway choking down the dust as the tow truck pulls up and you feel the cool breeze of blessed relief, those are the words you’ll be thinking about.

The first hallmark of spirituality is its honesty.  No matter where or how you spend time in communion with God – be clear, sincere and open.  Spirituality doesn’t have to “sound good” – it simply has to seek what is good.

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Spirituality is…The Positive Opposite

 ”You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!”
           Reese’s Commercial

“I’m spiritual but not religious.”

In a frenzy of twisted logic, this phrase has moved from catchy to cliché to a standard response in popular culture. Think about how easily it rolls off the tongue – like any of the other auto-responses we have in our cultural competency.

How are you?   I’m fine.
How’s your mom?   She’s good.
What do you believe?   I’m spiritual but not religious.

The great irony is that as this phrase has been repeated over time it has become the very thing it wants to repel. It is a recurring tradition trying to communicate the idea the speaker is not traditional.  Like many populist assertions, it loses more meaning every time someone says it.

Part of the problem is that “I’m spiritual but not religious” is a completely backwards communication technique.  People who say this aren’t telling you what they believe. They are telling you what they don’t believe.  It shares nothing of who they are and serves as a mere signpost of who they are not.  They are saying:

They are not church people.
They are not opposed to science.
They are not bigots.
They are not Bible thumpers.
They are not gay haters.
They are not judgmental prudes.
They are not closed minded.
They are not brainwashed.
They are NOT RELIGIOUS.

This phrase isn’t a state of being or belief at all. It’s a protest against everything the speaker has seen and deemed unseemly, unholy and unfaithful in the faith.  It’s a T-shirt with an arrow on the front that says, “I’m not with THEM.”

It is easy to see how one would want to set the record straight about belonging with a group like the one those sentences describe. I don’t want to be them. You don’t want to be them.  Heck, even some of the people who are them don’t want to be them. And yet, still “they” exist.

Unfortunately, when we spend so much energy defining who we are not, it doesn’t bring us any closer to who we are. We need a word to take those phrases and convey the positive opposite. A word that says:

I am part of a community.
I recognize evidence of the system this world is built on.
I accept people as they are.
I read the Bible so you can see it through me, not hear about it.
I love and I believe God loves all people.
I don’t judge others.
I am open minded.
I am assertive and unique.
I am spiritual, disciplined, and faithful.

Where can we find such a word?  How about – “city on a hill?”  How about “salt of the earth?”  How about “child of God?”  When our spirituality is noted, but our religion denied, what we are really doing is conveying the simple truth that we don’t believe in the crusades, the political gospel, or the social oppression of rights in Jesus’ name. We are conveying that we think the “religious” establishment brings those things to the table, and we want none of it.  But, we are also saying we are shapeless, lacking in clarity, and blowing in the wind. That lack of foundation and definition is neither holy, nor healthy.

Spirituality and religion are like love and marriage. You can have either one independently, but everything is so much better when the two are together.

To have a whole faith, to be all that we are in God on earth and in heaven, we must reconcile the two halves of faith life and find a way to be religious and spiritual once again.  Like the old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup commercials – we need to find a way to get religion in our spirituality and spirituality in our religion.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – definitely spiritual  

To get spirituality in your religion – you gotta live what you believe and believe what you live.

So when we bring our battling couple, spirituality and religion, into the room of our heart and ask them to stay together, how do we keep them enmeshed?  Living what we believe is a matter of conscious action and choices. Believing what we live is a matter of mental/emotional action and commitment. Holding those two realities in a symbiotic relationship is a matter of faith.

We tend to think incorrectly about faith. We hold onto the idea that to “keep the faith” is to make sure everything stays the same. We believe what our parents taught us which their parents taught them which was handed down through generations. But it doesn’t really work that way – even in genealogy. Preachers, teachers, time, experience and inspiration all put their marks on the faith as it is handed from one to another. That’s the natural way of it. After all, people evolve – why shouldn’t faith evolve? Faith is not about “never changing yourself.” Faith is about “never giving up on God.”   Faith is not about following the old never-changing way. Faith is about following God’s way.

We tend to talk about faith like we have anything to do with it – we say things like “I have faith it will work out” and “My faith life is vibrant” – but faith doesn’t start with us (and we really shouldn’t take much credit) – faith starts with God.

A few years ago, I required surgery and was referred to a local surgeon. I met him once, for about twenty minutes, and two weeks later I trusted him to cut my neck open and remove my thyroid. I didn’t trust my surgeon because I just happen trust everyone with a scalpel (in fact, I fear sharp objects and men who wield them). I trusted him because I knew his credentials were checked out by the state of Virginia, my insurance company, and the hospital privileges department. He has years of experience performing this operation.  I had faith in him because his record justified that faith. I didn’t do all that work. He did. I just walked in the office believing.

Faith in God is the same way. We have faith in God because God has done the work of creating us, relating to us, saving us, loving us, teaching us and connecting us to God and one another. We have faith in God because God has been there. God has done all the work. We just walk through our world believing, and acting on that belief.

So when our pain at the hands of church makes us want to dump religion, or when the questions and complexities of what we believe make us desire to jettison spirituality out the window and drive down life’s highway on auto-pilot, we need to stop. Then we need to examine how we live and what we believe about it, and have faith.

Peanut butter and chocolate, love and marriage, spirituality and religion are all destined to be together. The more we heal and create pathways for that reconciliation the better we can rid our world of that silly catch-phrase.   Then we can say:

I’m spiritually religious.
Or
I’m religiously spiritual
Or better yet….

I believe.

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Spirituality is….Getting It

“I’ve defined myself, all my life, by what I was against. I fought against everything, but more and more I worry that I was never for anything. Oh, I can criticize and complain and judge everything, but where does that get me? Rebelling isn’t rebuilding. Ridicule isn’t replacing. My generation! All we did was make fun of the way the world was. We didn’t make it any better. We spent so much time judging what other people created we didn’t create anything of our own. We took the world apart, but had no idea what to do with the pieces.”

                             Ida Mancini in Choke, by Chuck Palahnuik

 Today at church during a lively children’s sermon the speaker was talking about Jesus telling the woman at the well she could have “living water.”  He carefully, and cheerfully, walked the thin, razor-sharp highwire made by the stringing of metaphors between small children still in their literal age.  In trying to explain that the woman didn’t understand what Jesus was saying, he sought to show that people in our time, having the advantage of knowing the whole gospel story, understood it better.  What he said was, “She didn’t understand what Jesus meant. But we have the benefit of “getting it.”

I have thought about that sentence ever since he said it. (Proof once more that I am much better suited to learning from the children’s sermon than the adult one. Not a surprise, really…). “We have the benefit of “getting it.”   All day the question has nagged me.  Maybe -  when you look at a world in so much need and a church (universal) still struggling with science, acceptance, and how to reach outside the circle of the secluded saved, -  the same question nags you too:

Are we?
Are we “getting it?”

Another text in the Bible shows an exasperated Jesus encountering legalism and posing the same question. 

Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. “Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. The second one married the widow but he died also, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all the woman died too. At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her.
Jesus replied, “Are you in error because you do not know the scriptures or the power of God? When the dead rise, they will neither marry or be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. Now about the dead rising – have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, “I am the God of Jacob? He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living. You are badly mistaken.”
                               Mark 12:18-27 (NIV)

 Jesus asks them — Are you in error (are you not “getting it”) because you do not know the scriptures or the power of God? In other words: Are you people ignorant or unbelieving? 

A professor once taught me that if you want to truly get the feel of a scripture – write it out by hand and see how you interact with the words.  I tried that with this scripture, grabbing my trusty fountain pen and writing it into my journal.  I noticed two things right off:

1.  What a long question!
2.  What a stupid question.

Jesus seems to notice both the length and stupidity of the query in his grumpy response, concluding – “You are badly mistaken”.  Personally, of all the things I want to hear Jesus say to me, “You are badly mistaken” is NOT on the list.  What are their mistakes? Why aren’t they “getting it?”

They, like Ida Mancini, are too busy ridiculing to gain any real knowledge.  They don’t believe in resurrection, and they probably don’t spend a lot of time caring about who is married to anyone. The ludicrous scenario is intended to make fun of the idea that we live on after we die.  They were not willing to learn. They were, in fact, ignorant.

They also were practicing what we know as “confirmation bias” – the psychological phenomenon that says we only give authority or acceptance to ideas that confirm what we already think instead of accepting something that might change or broaden our reality. They didn’t want to believe in the power of God to carry our souls through death to life. They were, in fact, unbelieving.

 

Spirituality – “getting it” – is that act of leaving both of those qualities behind. It’s easy to think of pithy questions and outrageous scenarios to question faith, hope or God. Like the always popular, “If God is all powerful, can God make an object so heavy that God cannot lift it?”   (My answer:  “Stop it.”). Ridicule isn’t replacing and logic traps don’t make anyone brighter, better, or more hopeful.  Being a spiritual being is having the capacity to learn, and interact honestly with people, scripture and God.

Spirituality is also the willingness to confront our confirmation bias (we all have it – its connected to our ego – and what do we remember about ego?  E.G.O. — Everybody’s Got One).  When you realize you are drawn only to things that support what you think or what you think you think – stop and give other thoughts a chance. It doesn’t mean you have to believe something just because its different.Rebelling isn’t rebuilding. But it does mean a conscious effort to really consider ideas will give you more tools and more chances to be “getting it.”

Finally, be energized and excited by the fact that while spiritual people are “getting it” – no one on this earth – has “got it.”  Spirituality is a journey of learning, changing, praying and hope.  It is about rebuilding, and it is about replacing. It is about revelation, and re-creation.  No one gets to sit on the platform of “I got it all figured out” (and you should be highly suspicious of anyone who tries).  So do not worry about how near or far you think you are from “getting it” – just keep listening, learning, and loving.

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Spirituality is…A Partnership of Miracles

    God: People ask me to do things – big things, little things – billions of times, every day.
    Joan: What do you expect? You’re God!
    God: I put a lot of thought into the Universe; came up with the rules. It sets a bad example if I break them – not to mention, shows favoritism. Why should one person get a miracle, and not everybody else? Can you imagine the confusion? It’s better when we all abide by the rules.
    Joan: No miracles?
    God: Miracles happen within the rules.

Joan of Arcadia “The Fire and The Wood”

Like most people in our world, I have been touched by  horror, sadness and fear as I watched Japan struggle with earthquake, tsunami, and a nuclear power crisis. I have also been touched by horror, sadness and fear as I listen to media commentators, television preachers and political pulpit-teers suggest this suffering was the punishment, and/or will of God.  It simply boggles my mind that churches will spend thousands of dollars and hours on programs to “bring people to God” – only to turn around and suggest that God created this terrible loss of life as some sort of “lesson” or “punishment” never realizing they just drove countless  people in opposite direction from God’s love.

I have told more than one person when they’ve spouted off, “it is God’s will” to be careful when saying that around me. After a quizzical look comes my way I’ll add, “That statement gives me an allergic reaction.” Why? Two reasons:
First – It’s a write off, not a theological truth. We throw around God’s unknowable, indefinable will and we don’t have to think anymore.
“I don’t know why I didn’t get that job, it must have been God’s will that I do something else,” we say. Without ever bothering to admit we were entirely unprepared for the interview or lacked the necessary experience, we hang our coat on the “God’s will” rack and fail several more times. God’s will is that we learn, seek and change. What does God say through the prophet Jeremiah?
“You will seek me and you will find me, when you seek me with your whole heart.” (Jeremiah 29.13.)
God’s will is that we LOOK for an answer, not just fill in the blank check of mystical, deterministic desire and go about our business without investigation. Did you ever notice something about the car keys and wedding rings we credit God in helping us find? We were looking for them when they showed up! God’s will is not separate from us; God’s will involves us.
Second – taken at face value, the idea that “everything that happens is God’s will” is a very disturbing idea.
In the book A Good Friend for Bad Times: Helping Others Through Grief, author Deborah Bowen explicitly says, “Do not say to a child who has lost someone, “It was God’s will.” Regardless of what you as an adult believe about spirituality and death, such a statement will negatively shape a child’s view of God and spirituality.”
It isn’t just children who can get a negative understanding of God through the idea that everything that happens in our world is what God wants. A deity who wants families to lose their homes, planes to crash, or disease to devastate a loved one is not someone I want to worship, serve, or even spend much time hanging around. From the violence of child abuse to the hypocrisy of church leaders damaging faith to promote profit, it’s clear not everything that happens is the will of God.
I do believe that while not everything that happens is God’s will it is also true that God has a will – a desire – for everything that happens. God desires abused children to be rescued, and restored. God desires hungry people to be fed, hurting people to healed, lonely people to be held, and all manner of good to come to our world. God’s will for us is all around us. But in order to see it, we must seek it and we must pursue it. Just as Jesus spoke of kneeding a little yeast into the bread – we must work God’s will into fabric of this world.
 We’ve looked at all the unsatisfying answers to our questions and disappointment. Now let’s ask the question again. If God is all-powerful, and has this overriding desire for life abundantly to come to us, then why doesn’t it? Is there an answer that will satisfy our hearts? I can’t say I have found “the” answer, but I have found a peace – a place to rest and ponder this question. That resting spot is the understanding of our divinely designed partnership with God.
Want to understand the design? Then study the designer. Want to understand the designer? Study the design.
God made a system, not a “stand alone” world. God created a universe with things like gravity (as one of my favorite bumper stickers says, “Obey gravity, it’s the law!”), systems and structures. God made life – all life – into a system and gave that system some mechanisms to secure it. Earthquakes happen because tectonic plates shift and the pressure must release or the earth will explode. Hurricanes happen because of hot water, wind and the earth’s rotation. It’s the natural consequence to a set of parameters. It’s not because someone is bad or good. It’s not because God loves or hates. It’s the way the design works.
 A good parent obeys the rules he/she sets forth for the child. So I don’t think God messes with the design a whole lot. I am not suggesting that God is forced to obey gravity, but I do think God chooses to let the system work as it was designed, even when the outcome is sometimes great loss. When that happens, God’s tears fall, and God’s inspiration is seen in all who aid, help, sacrifice and struggle.
Death and loss in Japan, or Libya, or at your neighbor’s house may not be God’s desire. But bringing light, life, hope and healing to those places is definitely encapsulated within the heart of God. Instead of legitimatizing those phony baloney media hounds who are slinging blame and condemnation in the name of the God who made us, let us show God’s true “will.” Let us show charity, compassion, giving, hope, interaction, selflessness, and love. Most of all, love. That would be downright miraculous.

“The Architect” by Jared Cullum